Words from a woman
March 16, 2011
Tonight I write as a human being and a woman.
There are so many moments when life is a deep fascination that I am immersed in deep play and awe. I am humbled constantly at the marvels and the serendipity that life brings. From the moment my eyes open in the morning, until silence ensures after my son falls asleep every night, each heartbeat is a miracle. There is a voice within my heart, it is what we know as Grace. It has been there since antiquity, it is my friend, my teacher, my lover. Yes, I have many a times chosen to disregard this voice, I have chosen to exercise what humans mistakenly think of as free-will; I have done many deeds of a silent rebel. Yet this voice has not forsaken me. It has picked me up in the moments of deepest despair, it continues to guide when the mind wishes to take over.
Tonight this voice has told me to keep walking. Even though I perceive this to be a solitary journey, it is important to keep the feet moving. ”But I enjoy solitude”, I replied. ”We know you do”, the voice spoke. ”Dear, we know you do, and that is why you have chosen such a lifestyle. Yet we also know there are moments when you also dearly treasure human contact. We know you feel alone, but in truth, you are never alone. We know you only wish to walk side by side with someone else, to be met as who you are, without compromise.”
“It is important that you keep walking, even though you may not comprehend at this moment. The path of glory is one from the inner heart, it cannot be explained in logic or mental processes. If each step is an impulse from the heart, there can be no wrong moves and you will not be giving more than you can. When you feel over exhausted, go back into the heart and find out what has not been impulsed from there. If you cannot find out for yourself, be self assured that no one else can. It is important that this moment, you return within. Do not look outside for an illusive savior, no one out there can save you, but yourself. No love you receive from the external can fill you, but by returning to the love you are within. Forget this not.”
I am grateful life has kept me grounded here with all my human and motherly duties to fulfill. With Grace, all is beauty. I am grateful that aloneness has once again opened up a brand new world for me. I can only wish that with each step I take, the project in progress, will unfold more through one’s blossoming awareness. And that one day, what is strength, hardened like diamond over years and years of compression, can be transformed fully into brilliance and radiance that is our femaleness.
photo: CK (Secret Nine Productions)
